Back on track, I think
The last time I wrote something here I was at my lowest, I felt empty and just wanted to get away from everyone. I got my time to think, time to make things right. I got out of a bad realtionship and I cleared the air with people that were pulling me down. The only thing pulling me down right now is memories. I can never get away from them, they are a part of my life and alway will be. And that's something that I just have to learn to live with.
At the moment I am on the way of falling in love, and that's a wonderful feeling. It makes you feel like your floating on clouds and I walk around smiling all the time. And right now, it is just what I need.
I'm taking control of my life again, and this time I'm going to try to hold on to it.
Live your life, take some chanses. Make life worht living!
At the moment I am on the way of falling in love, and that's a wonderful feeling. It makes you feel like your floating on clouds and I walk around smiling all the time. And right now, it is just what I need.
I'm taking control of my life again, and this time I'm going to try to hold on to it.
Live your life, take some chanses. Make life worht living!
When everything else got lost along the way..
I think we all have those day when we feel like giving up. when we feel like we're all alone, when we really have lot's of people who cares. I have a ton of friends, a beautiful boyfriends and a "family" that loves me but still i feel alone and depressed and i just want to lock myself in my room and spend the rest of my life alone.
I've been trough a lot in my life, I've lost everything that a now dream of have. And a part of me wishes that I can make everything come undone but still I know that it was all for the best. I grew up with an alcohlic father, a mother with mental problems and no one to talk to. Everytime I got sad or angry I just kept it all to myself, bottled it all inside. And I did that for a very long time untill I reached my berakingpoint and thats where it all went terribly wrong. I got away from my bad homesituation but along the way i lost my mom, my grandmother, two brothers, one sister. They never got to hear my side of the story. They never got to know what it was like for me. And every day I wonder if it was all worth it? My life got saved but i lost everything that ment anything at the time.
This happened three years ago, I got my chance to talk to one of my brothers and my sister and now I know that they love me, they have become a part of my life again. But I still live with the fact that my oldest brother doesn't talk to me, he thinks that I ruined our family and my grandmother probably thinks the same and my mother I come to detest. The love from a mother that everyone else take for granted I don't have. My mother has spred lies and tried to ruin my life in every possibly way and I will never forgive her for that. She will allway be a big part of my life, but she doesn't mean anything to me!
So I just have one god advice to give you all,
Appreciate what you've got because it can all be taken away from you in the blink of an eye.
I've been trough a lot in my life, I've lost everything that a now dream of have. And a part of me wishes that I can make everything come undone but still I know that it was all for the best. I grew up with an alcohlic father, a mother with mental problems and no one to talk to. Everytime I got sad or angry I just kept it all to myself, bottled it all inside. And I did that for a very long time untill I reached my berakingpoint and thats where it all went terribly wrong. I got away from my bad homesituation but along the way i lost my mom, my grandmother, two brothers, one sister. They never got to hear my side of the story. They never got to know what it was like for me. And every day I wonder if it was all worth it? My life got saved but i lost everything that ment anything at the time.
This happened three years ago, I got my chance to talk to one of my brothers and my sister and now I know that they love me, they have become a part of my life again. But I still live with the fact that my oldest brother doesn't talk to me, he thinks that I ruined our family and my grandmother probably thinks the same and my mother I come to detest. The love from a mother that everyone else take for granted I don't have. My mother has spred lies and tried to ruin my life in every possibly way and I will never forgive her for that. She will allway be a big part of my life, but she doesn't mean anything to me!
So I just have one god advice to give you all,
Appreciate what you've got because it can all be taken away from you in the blink of an eye.
